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joys of single life 17.6.2009
Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that"
shirt with "those" pants.
I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well
please.
I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls,
I'm here".
I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
When I get home after work, I don't ...
1 Kommentare, 49 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,3.81 Gesamtpunktzahl
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perfect couple 16.6.2009
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After
a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their
life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy
Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect
car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed
someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect
couple, they stopped to help. There ...
2 Kommentare, 127 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,5.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Girlfriend Blowjob Revenge 10.6.2009
I once had a girlfriend that was mad at me, and rather than
just yell at me she decided to play it cool for a couple hours.
After a couple hours had gone by she had this great idea to
give me a blow job. The bad part is, i had forgotten about
the argument or even what it was about. She however, had
not.
So she is eager as hell to undo my pants and is telling me the
dirtiest most erotic ...
7 Kommentare, 365 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,4.57 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Marital Bliss ! ? 2.6.2009
While driving to his mothers house a husband and wife
got into it as usual because he was going to see his mom.
The husband told his wife, "BITCH! Don't say
a fucking word when we get over there because mama can't
stand the sound of your god damn screaming railing and riling
voice."
The wife replied, "You sorry of a bitch! You know
what I can't stand about your old crazy, ...
4 Kommentare, 207 Angesehen,
21 Stimmen
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Two elderly women ! 25.5.2009
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades.
Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities
and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a
few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, 'Now don't get mad at me, I know we've
been friends for a long time, but I just can't think ...
4 Kommentare, 181 Angesehen,
26 Stimmen
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Shrink vs.Bartender 24.5.2009
Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders
EVER SINCE I WAS A , I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE
UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think
there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.'
'Just put yourself in my hands for one year, '
said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able ...
5 Kommentare, 131 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,5.64 Gesamtpunktzahl
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how to make your woman happy.... 19.5.2009
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.... A man only needs to be:
1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a ...
1 Kommentare, 95 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,4.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Men and Women 9.5.2009
Men and Women on planet earth die from various places throughout
the world at a particular moment in time and go to God's
abode to be judged.
The God welcomes this new batch and tries his experimental
new judgement trick and says, " I want all you humans
to form two queues.
One line is for the men who dominated their women, ...
2 Kommentare, 70 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,4.90 Gesamtpunktzahl
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On Picking up Men 8.5.2009
Many years ago, my Mother sat my twin sister and I down in
order to explain the Facts Of Life to us.
However, she told us that this was not as nearly as important
as where one should meet their future life mate.
She informed us that the following places were Taboo to
meet a man and that should you find a man here, the relationship
was doomed from the start.
The places ...
0 Kommentare, 200 Angesehen,
5 Stimmen
,2.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Fliration of Youth 26.4.2009
I had posted some photos on one of those generic sites.
The photos were the type relatives usually take....me
eating or adjusting my panties, for an example.
Somehow these photos caught the eye of a young man aged 18
and he just had to contact me.
Was I aware that we lived a town apart? Could I come over to his home to have some "fun?"
The young man, after ...
2 Kommentare, 166 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,4.06 Gesamtpunktzahl
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The thrill is gone ! 22.4.2009
The thrill is gone from my marriage", a man tells
his friend.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?" the friend suggested.
"What if my wife finds out?' the first asked.
"Just be honest and tell her about it, " the
second man answered.
The man went home and told his wife, "Dear, I think
an affair will bring us closer together." ...
11 Kommentare, 235 Angesehen,
31 Stimmen
,1.03 Gesamtpunktzahl
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For people that remember Bob hope ! 20.4.2009
May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003
ON TURNING 70 "You still chase women, but only
downhill".
ON TURNING 80 "That's the time of your life even
when even your birthday suit needs pressing."
ON TURNING 90 "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
ON TURNING 100 " I don't feel old. In fact I don't
feel anything ...
5 Kommentare, 115 Angesehen,
31 Stimmen
,0.08 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Present For Husband 16.4.2009
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training
session.
Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have
a good trip.
The wife answers : "Thank you honey, what would you
like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl !!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: ...
3 Kommentare, 184 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,3.65 Gesamtpunktzahl
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For men only ! ! ! 7.4.2009
5 RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE
1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home,
who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and
who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in ...
9 Kommentare, 226 Angesehen,
57 Stimmen
,0.16 Gesamtpunktzahl
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10 COMMANDMENTS OF MARRIAGE 7.4.2009
Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven. But so are thunder and lightning.
***********
Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say; talk in your sleep.
***********
Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
...
3 Kommentare, 123 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,2.23 Gesamtpunktzahl
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A Doctor speaking in front of an audience ! 3.4.2009
The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have
killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful.
Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-
term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and
we ...
10 Kommentare, 202 Angesehen,
54 Stimmen
,2.03 Gesamtpunktzahl
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YOU AND I 31.3.2009
You and I are not the same, Nor will we ever be... But we have a common thread, That attaches you to me.
A golden thread that's spun so fine, With so much love and care, A thread of gold, for us to hold, That only best friends can share.
A common bond within our hearts, Love that's rare, a special find. An ability to feel and see, Within the heart so blind...
So know my ...
3 Kommentare, 75 Angesehen,
10 Stimmen
,4.58 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Vertically Challenged 25.3.2009
The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all
the time.
The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem..
The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look.
The midget dropped his pants.
The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started
to examine him.
The doctor put one finger under his left testicle ...
3 Kommentare, 175 Angesehen,
9 Stimmen
,5.56 Gesamtpunktzahl
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bono interrupted my loving 20.3.2009
I was with my girl for 2 weeks that time, and i visited her
for 3 days, we only got out of bed to get to the toilette. We
kept having our fun for 15 times in about one day. She loves to listen to music all the time, and its allways
funny when shes singing to a song while i try to get her horny.
The horror came at the evening, i just got down on her, tasting
her sweet pussy, and then got my big ...
1 Kommentare, 112 Angesehen,
3 Stimmen
,2.45 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Computer Trouble ! 16.3.2009
I was having trouble with my computer. So, I called Richard,
the 11 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission
Control, and asked him to come over.
Richard clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.As
he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was
wrong?' He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ...
15 Kommentare, 397 Angesehen,
53 Stimmen
,1.37 Gesamtpunktzahl
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funniest thing during sex 15.3.2009
curious to know what the craziest/funniest thing people
have had happen to them during sex
3 Kommentare, 155 Angesehen,
2 Stimmen
,2.42 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Blind Faith...... Is it dead? 13.3.2009
Is blind faith in a partner dead. A great question if you
actually believe in blind faith. I personally think that
it is foolish, at least now I do. I used to have blind faith
in a woman and man did I learn my lesson. Well... actually
no, not right away anyhow. I never thought my girl would
cheat on me, and for the most part, she proved herself faithful
time and again. Once I had found ...
0 Kommentare, 22 Angesehen,
0 Stimmen
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louisiana bride 23.2.2009
Three men chose brides.
The first man married a woman from OHIO . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took
a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.
The second man married a woman from MICHIGAN . He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes
and the cooking. The ...
2 Kommentare, 139 Angesehen,
4 Stimmen
,3.63 Gesamtpunktzahl
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10 quirky facts about kissing 20.2.2009
Think you know a thing or two about kissing? You probably
do. But the facts below are so off the beaten path, we’ll
bet you don’t know them all–and they could come in handy.
Not only could they provide some steamy “Did you know…?”
chit chat, but they’ll help you see all the benefits a satisfying
lip lock can bring into your life. Happy smooching! ...
8 Kommentare, 312 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,3.39 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Why is my Twin Sister so dense???? 19.2.2009
I had just mentioned to my twin sister that I would be appearing
at a local comedy club down in South Jersey, just a short
drive from her home in Delaware.
She asked me "What will you be doing there?"
I gave it some thought, and I replied that I do an act where
I am totally nude and have strategically placed balloons
on my body, which I POP to the tune of "I am just wild
about ...
0 Kommentare, 203 Angesehen,
6 Stimmen
,1.94 Gesamtpunktzahl
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SEX AND YOUR FIRST NAME 4.2.2009
According to studies, your sexual identity is revealed
by the first letter of your first name what do you think? Those of you with names that start with N will probably wish it started with K
Disclaimer This was given to me by a close friend of mine
named John Lozon A
You are not particularly romantic, but you are interested
in action. You mean ...
8 Kommentare, 391 Angesehen,
19 Stimmen
,4.44 Gesamtpunktzahl
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Here" a good one folks............ 30.1.2009
I kind of am seeing this guy; ya, kinda of seeing this guy.
We been together for about 3 1/2 years and it really hasnt
gone anywhere but until I get out of the relationship, which
is like next month, I kind of want to c what u all have to say
about this one.
He barely got back from MX and El Centro after being there
for a supposed funeral and personal family business. He
was gone from ...
3 Kommentare, 211 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,2.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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What's wrong with this picture? 28.1.2009
My twin sister is the stupidest smart person I know. Her
college G.P.A. was 3.98.
I never tell anyone my grade point average because it would
prove that there is "an inverse relationship between
bust size and I.Q."
She calls me about 4 to 6 times a day and all we ever talk about
is her.
She just started to date through one of fancy dating sites
and had her first date. ...
3 Kommentare, 215 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,2.53 Gesamtpunktzahl
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A + class act 20.1.2009
we started chating in an TransenFlirt.com, Transen Kontakte, Shemale Kontakte, Transen Treff chatroom. The conversation was going well and the young man wanted
to continue on IM Yahoo Messenger.
He told me that his name was Philip S, I can't reveal
his last name for privacy sake but it was the same name that
Winnie the Pooh lived under in his hollow tree home (wasn't
the nams Saunders???).
He said his $1400 computer cam wasn't working, ...
5 Kommentare, 321 Angesehen,
12 Stimmen
,3.86 Gesamtpunktzahl
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stupid glove box 20.1.2009
i use to keep a small vibrator in my glove box of my car so when
i had a extreme wait for someone r just driving and ended
up getting horny i could use it. needless to say my car was
broken into and my lock on my glove box was broken. i completely
forgot about it one day and was giving my mom a ride. well
she started going through my glove box while i was in the
gas station and when i came out ...
2 Kommentare, 163 Angesehen,
7 Stimmen
,2.79 Gesamtpunktzahl
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